east by south: March 2010

3.31.2010

red lips & white pearls.

"Looking at yourself in the mirror isn't exactly a study of life."

--- Lauren Bacall

3.25.2010

"He burst in upon her as if he had butted the door with his head, and dimly catching sight of her reclining in a pink dress on the couch, he said hastily: 'H'llo-h'llo,' and strode all around the room, supposing that everything was working out very easily, wittily and entertainingly and simultaneously suffocating with excitement. 'And therefore in continuance of the above I have to inform you that you will be my wife, I implore you to agree to this, it will be absolutely impossible to go away, now everything will be different and wonderful,' and at this point he settled on a chair by the radiator and, covering his face with his hands, burst into tears. . ."

--- The Defense, Vladimir Nabokov, p. 103

3.23.2010

dream it. do it.

Today is a makeover day.

Today I woke up with the weary realization that I am far - so, so far - from being the kind of person I want to be, and instead of resigning myself to this unhappy fate of cynicism and neurotic ticks, I decided to do something about it. I decided to dig out all the ugliness and junk that has accumulated over my personality and leave only what is good, pure, supportive, and kind. I decided to give myself, as my mom put it (ceaselessly) while I was in high school, "a serious attitude adjustment."

Easier said than done, I know. But the little things help. Smiling at people on the metro, watching what I say at work, looking for small ways to be thoughtful for friends. In general, an attitude of industry and care has been carrying me throughout the day, and by noon I had become a cheerful and goodnatured creature again. The world is such a beautiful place, and I am beginning to feel, once again, like a worthwhile contributor to it.

+++

“Kindness in women, not their beauteous looks, shall win my love.”

-- Hortensio. The Taming of the Shrew, Act IV, Scene II.